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Potterhead am I.

Omg. Just bought my Harry Potter tickets. I am so excited cause I bought the Imax and 3D tickets!!!!

I just realized something amazing

My imagination makes me feel lonely.

I imagine that he will not be able to look at me without smiling. He will be patient with all of my insecureties. After I watch a scary movie he will rap his arms around me until I trust him that there are no serial killers in the vicinity. When I am in public and I hear a song that I really like he won’t mind dancing with me. He will know that he makes me so happy that I would do anything for him, but he won’t use that against me. He will like all his food burnt crispy and over seasoned because that is the only way I know how to cook. He will accept all of my friends or at least be cordial with them even if he dosen’t like them. And lastly he will be able to sit with me in total silence and be just as content as I am in just being there with me.

Word! :)

Word! :)

This is so cute!

This is so cute!

Pro condums!

 1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don’t be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don’t be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can’t go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you’re not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she’s spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won’t get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you’re undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don’t be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!